Today I went to a job fair. I hadn't been to one in a seriously long time.

I own no suits, no business slacks, no business skirts, no business heels, no pantyhose... So over the weekend, I searched hard and long for appropriate clothes to wear to the fair. I didn't find much that I liked, and I looked silly in what I tried on. I finally found a few pieces... a white collared shirt, a black skirt, a pair of pointy-toe high heels, and some tan hose. After buying them, I felt ready to go out there and get a new job...

In the morning, I put it all on in. Then I took it all off. I just didn't feel right in the clothes and shoes. They didn't make me feel more professional or more deserving of a job. I felt and looked like a poser. I just couldn't to go out looking like that. So instead, I wore a pair of black pants that I've had for about 5 years, a semi-casual top, and my comfortable black shoes.

The job fair was a bit of a disappointment. Only 10 booths, and only one company that interested me. I'm probably going to return the clothes and shoes. But I'll keep the hose. I'd forgotten how fun they are.

What's my point? What's the moral to this story? Nothing, really. I just wanted to say something, anything...

I've always held the opinion that not every movie has to have a plot to be good.

We survived! Now I have at least a month to work on getting out of here before the axe finally gets to me.

More work stuff... I'm supposed to find out tomorrow or Wednesday what is going to happen to the program and group at Sun that I work within, and subsequently, what is going to happen to my position. Whatever happens, I'm aiming to get out of this position and into a brand new career within a year, or obtain stable position that will hold me over until I figure out what I want to do with my my life.

I have less idea what I want to do with my life than I did coming out of college, with all the options that were at my feet then. I'm not sure what my current potential is (though I imagine it's been decreasing by the year), but I'm sure that I'm not living up to it. Hell, I'm hardly living...

The current plan is to try to get into sales, preferrably pharmaceutical/biotech/health-care-related sales. The old interest in biology, health-care, and drugs persists. And I'd like to finally put my college degree to use. I don't currently have any experience in sales. I'm not even sure I have the right personality to be a successful sales rep. But I figure sales skills could keep me employed for the rest of my life, and I'd be foolish not to give it a try.

So I suppose now I will plunge into the task of setting myself up for an entry-level sales rep position. It's been a very long time since I devoted myself to the pursuit of anything challenging. It's been an even longer time since I've wanted anything enough to put so much effort into.

But it's not a matter of want anymore. It's matter of need. I NEED to do make something out of my life. ASAP.

Work life. A term that's currently not much unlike "endless eternity".

Work life has improved, thanks to the new iPod I got it for my birthday from Babe. The sound on my work laptop crapped out a couple of months ago, cutting me off from internet radio and a small collection of mp3s. And my pitiful collection of borrowed other people's CDs provides no respite.

On top of that, I've been continuously somber for over a month due to the utter futility of life. Life is good. But it doesn't get much better than this. It just gets different. I think I've seen, if not also experienced, the extent of how good it gets. Why plod on through the ultimate exercise in futility? Jaded to the max, and on the verge of flatlining...

Enter the iPod. It's given me a heartbeat. It is my new, little, white & silver, 15G heart. Without it, I might very well perish.

There are moments when I realize that the music is more real than reality. It is deeper, cooler, lovelier, and bigger than the life I live. I could lose my way in it. It provides a realm where I could dwell for hours and days. And when I take out the earbuds, it's over. Back to my dead reality...

Figure now that Blogger has done all the work and created a bunch of new templates, I might as well use one of them. This one's closest to my other one. Maybe I'll make a more drastic change to a lighter, brighter template in the near future.

How are they creating the toilet-plunger-breast look that seems to be the latest trend for nearly naked celebrity boobs? I've been baffled and oh-so-curious for a couple of months since they started popping up all over the place. Have you noticed them? How could you not?!

It's no longer hot enough to wear a gown with an ultra low plunging neckline that partially exposes a pair of hanging boobs. You gotta show globes. And they must be time-, gravity-, and reality-defying.

How to do??

Exactly how do celebrities keep them - both the wanting A's and the ample DD's - pushed up into plump, eye-popping orbs, held in place behind the seemingly delicate fabric and structure of a dazzling evening gown, mimicking the perfect circles and firmness of implants? This is no ordinary doublestick tape or conventional device in the works. So what manner of magical mechanisms is it? And how can I steal the look?