Yesterday, I had a conversation with someone who told me that he's saving up to buy a gun. We talked for a few minutes about the types of guns he was interested in buying. I knew nothing about guns. Now I know next to nothing.

Then last night, I had a nightmare based on something one of my ex's had said in real life: "If you leave me... I'll kill you." He'd said it seriously, and he did have a tendency to make rash, irrational decisions due to a sometimes unpredictable temperament. Said ex had been interested in buying a gun even before we broke up, and it had been overheard within the last couple months that he's still interested in buying one.

I can't remember all the details of the nightmare. The gist of it was... I was living in a house with a lot of other people, and we were all competing for something... like the American Idol kids, but more like the Joe Millionaire women. We were competing for a guy, and I hadn't been eliminated yet. I was the token Asian woman who'd made to the last four rounds of elimination. I was living in that house in fear because of my ex's threat, and because I'd learned that he finally bought a gun. I had alerted security, and made sure that there were guards and other people around me at all times. One day, my ex walked into the room with another guy, and made a beeline for me. I screamed, "That's him!" No one seemed to recognize him or see him. I knew this was it, and I was horrified. He nonchalantly walked right up to me, grabbed my arm, and shot me around six times in the back. I started blacking out quickly, and I was thinking, "So this is how it's gonna end? I don't wanna die so quickly, so soon. But there's nothing I can do to stop death now..."

It was just a nightmare... my subconscious paranoia at work. Still, guns aren't toys. I'll be damned if I let anyone take away my life with one of them.