I'm going to try to make an effort to blog more often. (How many times have I said that already?)

I've had the flu for the past 2 weeks.

Despite being feverish and congested, I ran the Bay to Breakers two weekends ago. I didn't run at full speed, and I still out-ran my non-sick friends. And I wasn't sore at all afterwards. I was proud of my 30-year-old body for being able to do what it did out there. But I still feel as if my 30-year-warranty just ran out...

Babe and I got sick after we went to two Jimmy Eat World concerts in one week earlier this month. As one would expect, there were tons of tall, big, sweaty, smelly teenagers in the pit with us. We got severely squished. I strained my shoulder muscles from all the counter-pushing I did. I can still hear the cries of one poor kid who had my elbow buried deep in his back... "My spine, my spine!" I don't usually mind all the pushing and close contact with strangers, since I thoroughly enjoy vibing with the crowds. But the crowd at the second concert just seemed a whole lot dirtier and smellier than others I've experienced. A few of them really grossed me out. Some of those kids must've been sick and carrying a wealth of germs.

At the concert, I noticed how the attractiveness of young people has changed for me. When I was a teen and a young adult, I thought that teens and young adults were the hottest humans on the planet - their youthful bodies, taut skin, and fresh looks ideal - and that adults past their mid-20s were on a downhill, slippery slope towards ugly. But at the concerts, I realized that I now find older people more attractive and appealing in general. I appreciate the more sophisticated and chiseled looks of people in their late-20s/early 30-year-olds. Adult facial features are more prominent and beautiful to me, as they've lost their babyfat while gaining character. Adults seem to pay more attention to the details and the upkeep of their bodies (ex. we now have money to spend on regular waxing at the salons). In contrast, kids appear dirty, messy, unkempt and negligent with their bodies. Oh, and did I already mention that they really smell bad?

But is finding outward attractiveness in post-mid-20-year-old adults going to help me better deal with having just entered the 30s myself?

To be honest, I've been bummed about turning 30. It's actually pretty amazing, though... the fact that I have existed for more than 30 years. 30 years still seems like quite a long time to me. A long time to have been breathing, consuming, growing, thinking, and doing even more thinking...

The hardest part about turning 30 has been feeling like I've done so little with my life with all that time... and guessing that the chances that I'm ever going to get around to doing anything great and amounting to much are diminishing at an even quicker rate, now that I've exited young adulthood. I'm more bored, lazier, and dumber than ever. Even just thinking about how to make my life more meaningful and eventful taxes my brain close to the max. I really have no extra cycles, as they say, to do more than breathe, eat, poo, and rue about how little I've done with my life.

I've actually done a lot. Having survived the regular perils of life, and my own past and development are significant. I shouldn't downplay that.

But I still have delusions of grandeur...

I turned 30 today.