I've watched the first two seasons of Smallville. I think it's a good feel-good show. Tonight's episode contained what seemed to me a hidden-but-not-so-subtle anti-drug message. I didn't mind that...

But I do mind and resent the fact that I constantly fight this inner battle. Some people have never done drugs, and have absolutely no desire to. Others have done them, but shrug off the experience and don't care to do them again. They don't seem to be plagued the way I feel I am. Why can't I shake off this bane? I almost feel like a struggling, recovering addict, though I don't even have an addiction.

Sometimes I resent that life is the way it is... that it gets really good, but will never get as good naturally as it can get for a few moments while on drugs... and that I can't ever seem to forget...