On Saturday, I went down to Stanford Shopping Center to pick up a bday gift for a friend. When I got there, a long line was forming near a center of the mall. People were waiting to meet and greet Alton Brown, the Good Eats guy, and have him sign books. A stage was set up for several cooking demonstrations.

Having not much else to do all day, I hung around and watched the Alton Brown make beef jerky out of flank steak using some heater filters and a box fan. After that demonstration was over, I shopped for a half hour and didn't find anything, came back to the stage area and bought the book, grabbed some food togo from McDonalds and stood in the now super-long line to have the book signed. I thought I'd be there for, oh, about forty minutes. I ended up standing in line for at least two hours.

I was only able to survive the two hours by doing some majorly intense people-watching. We're talking intrusive examinations of each and every person who walked by... shameless headturning and staring and up and down eye-ing. I tried not to miss a single juicy or gross detail. I made sure to note body shapes and guess ages and critique clothing and wonder about thoughts and feelings and histories and relationships of as many passers-by as I could get my eyes on. I saw more bad than good things. The Bay Area is full of funny-looking people, and I re-realize that every time I go out and make an effort to look.

If it was any other day, I probably would've gotten out of line, taken a couple pictures of Alton Brown signing other people's cookbooks and left. Having already bought the book, I figured it'd be a waste if I didn't have it signed. And having waited two hours to have it signed, it'd be a waste if I didn't get a picture of myself with the man. So, when it was finally my turn to shake the man's hand and tell him that Babe and I enjoy his show, I got the kind people in front of me to take a picture and email it to me. Here it is.