I did a Google search to find some information about sensitive skin and rashes and the like, and I came across this page, which contains a bunch of posts from a dermatology forum.

I noticed that a ton of posts were about "[this or that] on penis." I spent a good 15 minutes or so reading through those posts. Damn hilarious! (Sorry, dudes.) Tears came to my eyes. Guys are SO amusing. They are totally anecdotal about their experiences, and go into such excrutiating detail about their penises and symptoms, use lots of similes, ... "like red and purple spots the size of match heads" and "very small lesions that look like a mountain with the top blown off." Girls don't do that sort of thing.

A strange pick-me-up for the end of a very boring workday. Suddenly I don't feel as bad about my hypersensitive skin. Now it's time to go home.