Babe and I went to Ruby Skye on Friday nite. I don't think I'd go there again for awhile. I keep on forgetting it's a place where old pps like to gather. Not that I can't mingle with them or have a fun time among an older crowd... just that, being among peers, despite potential competition, adds a bit more excitement and pleasure.

Also, the music wasn't great. We thought it'd be better than at some other clubs that night. I wonder how good it would have to be for me to call it good or great. I mean, I haven't been to a club or a show or a concert in awhile, and I've got that whole I haven't been moved in awhile feeling... Maybe now I'm expecting too much.

Well, partway through the not-so-great music, a dance troupe got onstage to do a number (the Cell Block Tango, I believe it was) from Chicago, which I thought was well-performed and maybe worth a third of the cover.

I hadn't drank in awhile either, and I thought two drinks would be a max for me for a couple of hours. But after two and an hour, I felt fine. I came down too fast. I was a little surprised and disappointed at the same time. I'd wanted to get closer to drunk than I did.

I'd say I had a good time just being out. You know you're having a great time when you don't ask yourself, "Am I having a good time?", while you're having it. I think I asked myself that once or twice, but the answer was, "I'm not not having a good time, and I'm not bored... so yes."

We woke up early on Saturday to get in line at the Oakland Coliseum for the A's game and for Mulder bobbleheads. We got them, then we tailgated until the game started. I'm sure I asked myself, "Am I having a good time?", at least once or twice during the game. And the answer was, "I'm boiling hot, madly sweating, and dizzy... but yes."

That night we played poker. Of course poker. My friend and her friend, and my roommate, Joe, joined us. More people than usual showed up to play with us.

I was pretty moody that night, and had to put a bit of effort into trying not to let my thoughts and feelings get the best of me and my game. Instead of asking myself, "Am I having a good time?", I kept wondering "Are my friends having a good time?" I really wanted my friends to enjoy learning and playing poker with me and the others.

By the end of the night, I felt that they did have fun... and I felt silly for caring so much about their welfare. I know I'm too often too sensitive about how my friends are feeling. I wish I wasn't. I've never made a real effort not to be, though I've said I would. Be curious but not care-ious.

Sunday, I went to Hillsdale mall to use a Victoria's Secret gift certificate that I got on my birthday. I waited until now for their semi-annual sale to be over and their new stuff to come in. It was worth the wait; they've got some sexy new stuff in stock now. I'm partial to pinks, but I'm not sure Babe is...

I also tried to find some shorts at the mall 'cuz I only have one pair of non-workout shorts. I didn't work out all weekend, and felt fatter. But then I remembered that I'm PMS-ing, so a few extra pounds isn't a cause for alarm. I didn't gain any from the cruise, which is amazing considering the overabundance of food that was at my fingertips.

Bloated or not, I've been feeling sexier lately (which is usually the case in the summer). Sexier, but less interesting. I've tried to take an objective look at myself, and I yawned a little. I feel as if my personality needs to take a stretch. It's been cramped into a mildly boring routine.

I mean, I refuse to be or become a girl that people flock to mainly because of her looks. Not that I've got looks... but if, in fact, they are my biggest draw, that'd be a pretty sorry story.

And I absolutely refuse to be beat out by any of those girls that people flock to mainly because of her looks. You know them... the ones with the sophisticated clothes, perfect skin, cute faces, and no personality...

I have one, but I haven't taken it out for a drive in awhile. I want to grow it so that it's obvious, and I want it to be the first thing people notice. It bugs the crap out of me when I feel as if my personality can't stand alone... that it needs to be accompanied by good looks to get any attention. That's damn unfair. But c'est la vie...

Sunday nite, we saw Terminator 3. And that was the end of my weekend.