After the end of this month, I'll either be working for Sun from home or I'll be joining the ranks of the unemployed for the second time in two years. 'Course, I'm praying hard for the former.

They're taking down my Sun account after this weekend, so I've been transferring essential work-related files, along with personal files, to my home computer (which isn't even mine - I borrowed it from a supernice friend). I have a bunch of personal IM logs, collected during my year and a half here, and I couldn't help but browse through a couple of them for over an hour...

At first the logs were amusing. Then they began to disgust me.

Life was setup so differently for me a year and a half ago. Different agenda, different outlook, etc... In 2001 and earlier this year, I conversed over IM in a matter befitting one who doesn't have much to lose by being so open. No-holds-barred. I said whatever I wanted (on this blog too). I was all talk and not much action, and I knew it... and that's what made it easy for me to be playful and to boldly talk about the taboo, to gossip, to express thoughts-run-rampant, and let asssumptions fly...

I feel I've come a long way since those old logs... And I don't really care to look back at how I "spoke" and what I spoke of then, who I presented to others, and how I compensated for whatever I lacked in face-to-face social interactions and real-life adventures.

I should've started a private journal sooner than end-of-April this year.