Texas. I didn't like it much. Not just because it's a church state.

It rained all three days we were there, and the downpour was rather heavy. I'd wanted to experience "too hot." It wasn't. I probably wouldn't have minded the mugginess if I didn't know that at the same time it was bright, warm, and dry over here in California.

I asked myself, if I was offered a million dollars to live in Dallas for the rest of my life (for at least 6 months out of every year), would I take it? BIG NO. I wouldn't. What if I was offered 10 million? Still definitely no. I'd asked myself the same thing while I was in Alaska. I'd think I'd rather have 10 less years than live in Alaska for the rest of my life for any amount of money.

The freedom to live wherever I feel like living is too valuable. I need to work on actually being able to exercise that freedom... being able to live outside of the Bay Area. I don't think there's any other place in the world, besides California, that you could pay me 10 million to live in for the rest of my life. You'd have to give me much more than that, and maybe, just maybe, I'd live in Vancouver or New York.

Anyhow, the wedding happened. It wasn't particularly fun, but didn't feel like a waste of time. Being at a wedding in a new state isn't a regular experience, so I considered it a small adventure. It was kind of like watching a movie I haven't watched before - predictable in ways, yet still unique in ways.

I got an overload of Vietnamese at the reception. I didn't get enough to drink. Babe's friends were interesting to listen to. I felt more comfortable than uncomfortable. I didn't feel overdressed or underdressed, but my $200 dress remained half-hidden underneath a black sweater because it was so damn cold since the AC was cranked up super high. The food was alright. The best dishes contained beef, unsurprisingly.

On Sunday, we saw a little more of Dallas. It's sprawling and boring, and the large amount of green, open space between everything creates an aura of loneliness. We checked out the newly married couple's relatively new house. The aura of loneliness was in that house as well. Then we went to a mall that was a spitting image of the Great Mall in Milpitas. Then we went downtown, and everything was closed because it was Sunday. Stupid church state. Again, the aura of loneliness. I imagine, even when the city is noisy and bustling with a diversity of people and open shops and restaurants and office buildings, I'd feel lonely there.

OK. There is one good thing about Dallas. The steak. We went to a restaurant named Saltgrass. The beef was awesome.

I felt like I had my foot in my mouth all weekend. I kept on saying things... and a moment or two later thinking oh fuck, I should not have said that. Started out with "oh, you mean, the two white people?," rather loudly admidst an all white crowd at the McDonalds near the hotel the night we got in. Then "this is our first time in Dallas, and probably our last time too," without making sure that our friends and other residents of Texas weren't within an earshot. "Oh look, it's a Bible outlet store! And there are a lot of people in it! How funny," with an obvious sneer while walking right behind the married couple, who I'd just learned are Christians. And "Look. Bibles," with a scoff while pointing out window of the shuttle that was taking us and a bunch of other people from a church convention that took place at the hotel. I won't mention the rest of my verbal faux pas...

On the plane ride back, had an onslaught of the sort of mood that I get when I'm high up in the air. That sort of loftiness. The everyday activities that I was returning to seemed trivial and insignificant. We are all spoiled and rich. And I've got a savior-complex.

If only my plane was headed for the heart of a third world country where I could help the orphans in some way. Imagine how fulfilling it would be if I was an electronic musician travelling all over the world in search of unique sounds... helping the less priviledged in exchange for their sounds and my own meaning. Now wouldn't that be living wonderfully!