I had a fucked-up-headtrip dream last nite that I wasn't going mention today. But since the subject of dreams has come up more than twice today, here's what I've been thinking...

Are you able to wake yourself up from bad dreams and nightmares? I was under the impression that everyone could... because I can. I can the moment I realize that I'm dreaming... That moment usually comes when I suddenly realize I am acting out of character within a situation in a dream, or feeling an emotion too deep, usually too painful or too unbearable... an emotion I have never felt in real life, either because it's too intense, or it's not associated with the actions I'd respond with outwardly in real life.

When I feel as if I can't pull myself out of bad dreams right away, though I've realized I'm dreaming, I am struck with the most awful fear. As far as I can remember, not being able to immediately wake myself out of a nightmare has happened to me this once. I was fuckin' freaked out like never before...

I was able to shake myself awake last night.

I say, unpredictable dreams are not as good as conscious fantasies. Retreat into your own personal fantasyworld when dreams fail to come... and reality limits you, disappoints you, offers you nothing new or desirable. Go where there is such a thing as magic. Or subscribe to over 500 TV channels, and work with those...

But I'm all about reality these days. No matter how insipid it can get.